The other night, I was thinking about something- what do I really want to do? Why do I want to be a writer?
The obvious answer is that I love to tell stories. I love being able to create worlds, characters, and situations and blend them all together to create a story. It's a deep passion that I've had as long as I can remember.
But there's a deeper reason why I want to be a writer- I want to be a positive influence on the world.
I want to write stories, inspire people (including myself), gain a voice, and help create a better future for our world.
My morals are (in no particular order):
• equality for all
-not being judged based on your gender, ethnicity, orientation, religion, political beliefs, etc.
• freedom for all
-to achieve your dreams
-to do what you love
-to be who you are
-to have opportunities
• love
-for each other
-for animals
-for our planet and environment
-for children and the future they have
• education
-for all; smart people make smart choices, so good education would solve lots of the world's problems
-creating a passion for learning in our children
-self-learning and betterment
-self-evolution and continuing to strive for understanding of the human experience
• working together
-understanding each other
-helping those in need when we have no obligation to
By no means am I anywhere near perfect, but I want to continually make myself a better person. The person I want to be is one that doesn't think about giving, just gives; doesn't worry about possessions, but about people; doesn't care about impressing those more fortunate than her, but helping those who are less fortunate; doesn't judge or criticize others, just loves them for who they are.
Who do you really want to be? Are you on your way to becoming that person?
p.s.- don't forget that all month long, proceeds from book sales will be going to Susan G. Komen and St. Jude's Children's Hospital to help fight cancer: The list of books and stories that will help cancer research and treatment is here.
Showing posts with label on my soapbox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label on my soapbox. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
I am who I am; you are who you are; it's beautiful. :)
Since the release of Silence of Souls earlier this month, I've been having a few absolutely incredible experiences. I can't believe these things are happening to me, especially this quick- I would have thought it would take years before experiencing anything like this: I feel like a "celebrity."
Obviously, not to the scale (or anything even remotely close to it) that Brad Pitt or Ellen DeGeneres feel like celebrities, but there have been a few occasions where I felt like I was somebody. I have "fans," and it's incredible. There's been four people who have contacted me, praising my work, and telling me how inspiring I am to them. I've gotten to know a couple of them, and they're amazing people.
Twice there's been instances in real life that were totally surreal.
The first one was when I went to a party about a month ago, and there was this girl there I had never met. I introduced myself to her, and she said "Oh, I know who you are! You wrote 'Surprise Party!' That was a fantastic play, and it's so nice to meet you!"
The second one was when I met this caretaker that comes to visit my grandpa once a week. She asked me if I was the "writing granddaughter he always talks about" and I said yes. She then asked me to write down my name and the title of my book so she can look it up, so I did. When I handed her the piece of paper, she read it and then said "Oh, this sounds really familiar. I think I've heard of you!"
It's completely flattering, humbling, and unbelievable that these things would happen. I'm not sure I've really done anything to deserve such recognition, but I'll admit that I am really enjoying this incredible ride.
One of my friends, whom I have known for years, has been following along the whole time with my publishing, writing, et al. He gave me a piece of advice: "Now that you're starting to gain a rapidly-growing following, you should be mindful of who you are and create the image you want to be. You should stop posting political stuff and speaking your mind so much. If you're more bland to the public, more people will like you."
While I appreciate his advice and understand what he's saying, I don't agree with it- I respect his opinion, and if he feels that is what he wants to do when he starts gaining a following, then that is fine with me. But that's not the right choice for myself.
I am who I am, and I would rather have 100 fans who like the real me instead of 1,000,000 fans who like a bland, fragmented version of who I really am. I have strong beliefs, I have opinions, and I have a personality. I'm not going to hide who I am just for the possibility of gaining fans.
It took me years, but I finally like who I am- why would I want to oppress that now?
Undoubtedly, there will be people out there who don't like me for me. There will be people who dislike that I am pro-equality. There will be people out there who won't read my work because I believe in an afterlife. There will be people out there who assume that just because I am on the left side of politics that I am also very supportive of stricter gun laws (not so, but that's a story for another time).
I am who I am, and I like me. I hope you like who you are, too. Over the years, I've grown emotionally, expanded my mind, experienced things that have shaped who I am, and have formed opinions based on facts and what makes sense to me. It wasn't an easy journey to become who I am, so why should I try to hide it? It's impossible to be universally loved, so why be something I'm not when I can't please everyone anyway?
Be who you are, there's no one else like you. We are all so different- each with a unique set of experiences, beliefs, reasons, motivations, understandings, and so on. It's so much more interesting when we let the "real" us out instead of hiding behind what society expects us to be. At least, that's what I believe. ;-)
Obviously, not to the scale (or anything even remotely close to it) that Brad Pitt or Ellen DeGeneres feel like celebrities, but there have been a few occasions where I felt like I was somebody. I have "fans," and it's incredible. There's been four people who have contacted me, praising my work, and telling me how inspiring I am to them. I've gotten to know a couple of them, and they're amazing people.
Twice there's been instances in real life that were totally surreal.
The first one was when I went to a party about a month ago, and there was this girl there I had never met. I introduced myself to her, and she said "Oh, I know who you are! You wrote 'Surprise Party!' That was a fantastic play, and it's so nice to meet you!"
The second one was when I met this caretaker that comes to visit my grandpa once a week. She asked me if I was the "writing granddaughter he always talks about" and I said yes. She then asked me to write down my name and the title of my book so she can look it up, so I did. When I handed her the piece of paper, she read it and then said "Oh, this sounds really familiar. I think I've heard of you!"
It's completely flattering, humbling, and unbelievable that these things would happen. I'm not sure I've really done anything to deserve such recognition, but I'll admit that I am really enjoying this incredible ride.
One of my friends, whom I have known for years, has been following along the whole time with my publishing, writing, et al. He gave me a piece of advice: "Now that you're starting to gain a rapidly-growing following, you should be mindful of who you are and create the image you want to be. You should stop posting political stuff and speaking your mind so much. If you're more bland to the public, more people will like you."
While I appreciate his advice and understand what he's saying, I don't agree with it- I respect his opinion, and if he feels that is what he wants to do when he starts gaining a following, then that is fine with me. But that's not the right choice for myself.
I am who I am, and I would rather have 100 fans who like the real me instead of 1,000,000 fans who like a bland, fragmented version of who I really am. I have strong beliefs, I have opinions, and I have a personality. I'm not going to hide who I am just for the possibility of gaining fans.
It took me years, but I finally like who I am- why would I want to oppress that now?
Undoubtedly, there will be people out there who don't like me for me. There will be people who dislike that I am pro-equality. There will be people out there who won't read my work because I believe in an afterlife. There will be people out there who assume that just because I am on the left side of politics that I am also very supportive of stricter gun laws (not so, but that's a story for another time).
I am who I am, and I like me. I hope you like who you are, too. Over the years, I've grown emotionally, expanded my mind, experienced things that have shaped who I am, and have formed opinions based on facts and what makes sense to me. It wasn't an easy journey to become who I am, so why should I try to hide it? It's impossible to be universally loved, so why be something I'm not when I can't please everyone anyway?
Be who you are, there's no one else like you. We are all so different- each with a unique set of experiences, beliefs, reasons, motivations, understandings, and so on. It's so much more interesting when we let the "real" us out instead of hiding behind what society expects us to be. At least, that's what I believe. ;-)
Thursday, August 2, 2012
The Chick-fil-A Controversy: It's A Beautiful Thing
I'm sure most, if not all, of you have heard about the controversy surrounding Chick-fil-A. If you haven't, here's the short version: Chick-fil-A's CEO, Dan Cathy, came out as against marriage equality in support of "traditional values," and in response, proponents of marriage equality have been protesting and boycotting the fast food chain on a national level.
This- ALL of it- is a beautiful thing when you really think about it, albeit kind of a Catch-22.
Should we muffle someone's right to free speech or should we allow the oppression of equality?
For one, Cathy is exercising his right to free speech. He has the right to say what he feels and what he believes in. Thanks to religious freedom, he has the right to practice activities that coincide with his religious beliefs, including giving money to anti-LGBT organizations.
On the other hand, Americans have the right to protest and speak out their on beliefs which conflict with his. Americans have a right to fight for equality, and no group (heterosexual couples) should have rights that are denied to another group (homosexual couples). It is the epitome of "unconstitutional," and pretty much NOT what our Founding Fathers had in mind at all. I'm fairly certain that the Founding Fathers would be pro-marriage equality.
Some people would be shocked to think that the Founding Fathers would be pro-LGBT equality. I've even heard a guy once say "Our Founding Fathers would be rolling in the Christian graves if they knew what we [pro-LGBT activists] are doing here, but it needs to be done!"
For one, the Founding Fathers were NOT Christian. Most were deist, a few were theist. Several of them have been quoted with statements that are anti-religious, stating that they believed the world would be a better place without religion. They founded our nation on freedom of religion (which also includes freedom from religion), equality, and liberty.
Second, marriage is NOT a religious institution. Originally, marriage was created as a legal agreement for the purposes of social or financial gain. (Some marriage scholars say you can go back even further, pre-dating any legal system, and see that marriages were a form of union between two people to raise children; most lasted until the kids were four years old.) It wasn't until the 12th century that marriage was associated with love at all, and it also wasn't until then that marriage was associated with religion on a wide basis. There are records of legal marriages that can be dated back to more than 4,000 B.C., millenia before it was ever mentioned in any religious doctrines. Through the centuries, the various religions and cultures have adopted marriage and molded it to fit with their own beliefs, but they are far from being the original creator of marriage.
Anyway, back to the Chick-fil-A controversy. Personally, I am very pro-marriage equality: I just can't wrap my head around any reason to deny equal rights to same-sex couples when our country was founded on equality. Most people who oppose same-sex marriage do so because of their religious beliefs, but (as stated before) religion was not the originator of marriage and we have Separation of Church and State.
When it comes down to it, it's a battle between freedom of speech and the pursuit of equality, both of which should be protected. Dan Cathy has every right to speak out against marriage equality, just like the American people have every right to speak out against him for donating millions of dollars to anti-LGBT organizations that try to oppress equality.
Strange as this may sound, I was really happy to see yesterday that there were amazing amounts of people flocking to Chick-fil-A both to support the chain and protest against it. Both sides were exercising their right to free speech, the ability to demonstrate a variety of beliefs, and the freedom of choice. Neither side felt fear when speaking out. We should be a nation that encourages people to speak up for what they believe and exchange ideas, so long as it's done in a respectful, non-violent fashion.
Do I think Chick-fil-A will go out of business because of this? Probably not. But I do believe, with all my heart, that we will someday see marriage equality across the nation, and some day the people who were so adamantly anti-LGBT will be looked upon by future generations the same way young people today look back at those who fought against racial equality. Equality will win.
What's it like to be gay and work for Chick-fil-A? Read this.
This- ALL of it- is a beautiful thing when you really think about it, albeit kind of a Catch-22.
Should we muffle someone's right to free speech or should we allow the oppression of equality?
For one, Cathy is exercising his right to free speech. He has the right to say what he feels and what he believes in. Thanks to religious freedom, he has the right to practice activities that coincide with his religious beliefs, including giving money to anti-LGBT organizations.
On the other hand, Americans have the right to protest and speak out their on beliefs which conflict with his. Americans have a right to fight for equality, and no group (heterosexual couples) should have rights that are denied to another group (homosexual couples). It is the epitome of "unconstitutional," and pretty much NOT what our Founding Fathers had in mind at all. I'm fairly certain that the Founding Fathers would be pro-marriage equality.
Some people would be shocked to think that the Founding Fathers would be pro-LGBT equality. I've even heard a guy once say "Our Founding Fathers would be rolling in the Christian graves if they knew what we [pro-LGBT activists] are doing here, but it needs to be done!"
For one, the Founding Fathers were NOT Christian. Most were deist, a few were theist. Several of them have been quoted with statements that are anti-religious, stating that they believed the world would be a better place without religion. They founded our nation on freedom of religion (which also includes freedom from religion), equality, and liberty.
Second, marriage is NOT a religious institution. Originally, marriage was created as a legal agreement for the purposes of social or financial gain. (Some marriage scholars say you can go back even further, pre-dating any legal system, and see that marriages were a form of union between two people to raise children; most lasted until the kids were four years old.) It wasn't until the 12th century that marriage was associated with love at all, and it also wasn't until then that marriage was associated with religion on a wide basis. There are records of legal marriages that can be dated back to more than 4,000 B.C., millenia before it was ever mentioned in any religious doctrines. Through the centuries, the various religions and cultures have adopted marriage and molded it to fit with their own beliefs, but they are far from being the original creator of marriage.
Anyway, back to the Chick-fil-A controversy. Personally, I am very pro-marriage equality: I just can't wrap my head around any reason to deny equal rights to same-sex couples when our country was founded on equality. Most people who oppose same-sex marriage do so because of their religious beliefs, but (as stated before) religion was not the originator of marriage and we have Separation of Church and State.
When it comes down to it, it's a battle between freedom of speech and the pursuit of equality, both of which should be protected. Dan Cathy has every right to speak out against marriage equality, just like the American people have every right to speak out against him for donating millions of dollars to anti-LGBT organizations that try to oppress equality.
Strange as this may sound, I was really happy to see yesterday that there were amazing amounts of people flocking to Chick-fil-A both to support the chain and protest against it. Both sides were exercising their right to free speech, the ability to demonstrate a variety of beliefs, and the freedom of choice. Neither side felt fear when speaking out. We should be a nation that encourages people to speak up for what they believe and exchange ideas, so long as it's done in a respectful, non-violent fashion.
Do I think Chick-fil-A will go out of business because of this? Probably not. But I do believe, with all my heart, that we will someday see marriage equality across the nation, and some day the people who were so adamantly anti-LGBT will be looked upon by future generations the same way young people today look back at those who fought against racial equality. Equality will win.
What's it like to be gay and work for Chick-fil-A? Read this.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Edjumakashun
Song Lyrics:
1973-
"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun."
2010- "And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
Baby, baby, baby, oh
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine."
Movies:
1985- "Back to the Future" is number one in the box office.
2009-2012- More sequels and remakes released than ever before. Films like "Piranha 3DD," "Transformers," and "Battleship" take up space in theaters across the nation.
Books:
1970-1979- The top twenty books of the decade include The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Princess Bride, The Stand, The Exorcist, Interview with the Vampire, Sophie's Choice, and Carrie.
2005- Twilight is the most read book of the year, and tops most of the charts, even though it has plenty of grammatical errors and features a relationship that hints at abuse.
Social:
1990s and before- People wrote letters, went to gatherings, knew their neighbors, and spent a lot of time with others. People knew basic grammar and spelling, and could do simple math in their head with no problem.
2000s- People do most of their socializing online. More than 39% of people say they prefer socializing digitally rather than face to face. It is estimated that 24% of unborn babies have their own FaceBook profile. People type statuses that look like this: "i cant wait 2 go 2 da beach tomarow its gonna b so much fun your gonna b so jelly that u didnt come w/ us!!!!!!!!!!"
Political:
1970s- Most people were able to correctly identify the president, vice president, secretary of state, their congress representative, and knew the majority of issues on the ballots. The majority of voting-age Americans could also explain (even if just basically) how the voting process works, what "veto" means, and what role the electoral college plays in elections.
2012- It was recently found that 34% of Americans of voting age don't know who Joe Biden is (he's the vice president); 60% have no clue who the current secretary of state is (Hillary Rodham Clinton). However, 92% could give the correct answer as to who Angelina Jolie's partner is (Brad Pitt).
1950s-1990s- Education funding and standards higher than ever, and more people are getting educated than the generations before them.
2011- More states cut education and art funding than ever before. Higher education is harder to afford, and student debt for current generations is estimated to last longer than any previous generation; some student loans will take decades to pay off.
Haha, and they say that cutting funding to education and the arts makes no difference to society! Education is crucial to the future of our world and the betterment of humankind. Arts are very important- through art comes innovation, and through innovation comes new invention and advancement. Education and art both bring better understanding of our world, our roles and purpose, and what the human experience is really like.
It hurts my heart when I hear about more cuts to education and the arts. They are critical to the advancement of our species, what sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom, and yet they're discarded as completely disposable. One of the most disturbing things I came across while doing research for this post was the political section. To learn that so few people have even the basic understanding of politics and who is running our country is disheartening- how can we improve if we don't first understand? How can people expect to make the best decision when they go into the polls if they have no idea who they are voting for or how the issues affect them?
Take your education into your own hands. Learn, study, evolve, explore, and never stop doing so.
Self-education is a powerful thing, and can make a huge difference. I know there is an infinite amount of information out there that I don't know, but I always want to learn. The more I learn, the more I want to learn. One question answered often breds three more unanswered questions. We are the future. What we know and what we do with that knowledge will influence our own wellbeing and the generations that come after us.
We can thrive; just don't let go of learning, passion, and the thirst for self-improvement.
1973-
"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun."
2010- "And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
Baby, baby, baby, oh
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine."
Movies:
1985- "Back to the Future" is number one in the box office.
2009-2012- More sequels and remakes released than ever before. Films like "Piranha 3DD," "Transformers," and "Battleship" take up space in theaters across the nation.
Books:
1970-1979- The top twenty books of the decade include The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Princess Bride, The Stand, The Exorcist, Interview with the Vampire, Sophie's Choice, and Carrie.
2005- Twilight is the most read book of the year, and tops most of the charts, even though it has plenty of grammatical errors and features a relationship that hints at abuse.
Social:
1990s and before- People wrote letters, went to gatherings, knew their neighbors, and spent a lot of time with others. People knew basic grammar and spelling, and could do simple math in their head with no problem.
2000s- People do most of their socializing online. More than 39% of people say they prefer socializing digitally rather than face to face. It is estimated that 24% of unborn babies have their own FaceBook profile. People type statuses that look like this: "i cant wait 2 go 2 da beach tomarow its gonna b so much fun your gonna b so jelly that u didnt come w/ us!!!!!!!!!!"
Political:
1970s- Most people were able to correctly identify the president, vice president, secretary of state, their congress representative, and knew the majority of issues on the ballots. The majority of voting-age Americans could also explain (even if just basically) how the voting process works, what "veto" means, and what role the electoral college plays in elections.
2012- It was recently found that 34% of Americans of voting age don't know who Joe Biden is (he's the vice president); 60% have no clue who the current secretary of state is (Hillary Rodham Clinton). However, 92% could give the correct answer as to who Angelina Jolie's partner is (Brad Pitt).
1950s-1990s- Education funding and standards higher than ever, and more people are getting educated than the generations before them.
2011- More states cut education and art funding than ever before. Higher education is harder to afford, and student debt for current generations is estimated to last longer than any previous generation; some student loans will take decades to pay off.
Haha, and they say that cutting funding to education and the arts makes no difference to society! Education is crucial to the future of our world and the betterment of humankind. Arts are very important- through art comes innovation, and through innovation comes new invention and advancement. Education and art both bring better understanding of our world, our roles and purpose, and what the human experience is really like.
It hurts my heart when I hear about more cuts to education and the arts. They are critical to the advancement of our species, what sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom, and yet they're discarded as completely disposable. One of the most disturbing things I came across while doing research for this post was the political section. To learn that so few people have even the basic understanding of politics and who is running our country is disheartening- how can we improve if we don't first understand? How can people expect to make the best decision when they go into the polls if they have no idea who they are voting for or how the issues affect them?
Take your education into your own hands. Learn, study, evolve, explore, and never stop doing so.
Self-education is a powerful thing, and can make a huge difference. I know there is an infinite amount of information out there that I don't know, but I always want to learn. The more I learn, the more I want to learn. One question answered often breds three more unanswered questions. We are the future. What we know and what we do with that knowledge will influence our own wellbeing and the generations that come after us.
We can thrive; just don't let go of learning, passion, and the thirst for self-improvement.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Goodbye, Ken. You'll be greatly missed.
There is really no black-and-white to life. There's no hard and fast rules that are universally followed. There's no determining the reason things happen sometimes.
Two weeks ago, a friend of mine passed away. He was young (only 43) and had a lot of life still ahead of him.
I never met Ken in real life, but I had come to know him on Twitter over the last few years. He had a knack for making people laugh, getting people motivated, and just enjoying his space in the Twitterverse. Everyone who knew him on Twitter counted him as a friend; that's just how he was. We friended each other on FaceBook and emailed about acting from time to time. He was always there to offer some advice, encouragement, or make a quick joke to liven the mood. Even though I had never shook his hand, I would often forget that I had only ever met him electronically.
It's interesting how you can come to know people without meeting them face-to-face. I've got a few friends I've known via the Internet that I've never met face-to-face, and they're still dear friends to me.
What's strange is how out-of-nowhere this appears to be. Ken was very healthy; often he would Tweet about going to the gym, improving his workout, and staying active. So why is it we lost him at such at young age? There's no way to tell the reasons, or even if there really is one. Sometimes we just have to be okay with not knowing the answers.
It really makes you think of taking a hold of your destiny. Who knows why some people smoke, drink, are jerks and live to be 98 years old while others who take good care of themselves and are greatly compassionate live to only 21 years old. Where's the reason? Where's the fairness? That's one of the things that makes life exciting and beautiful- it's completely unpredictable, and we're here to enjoy the ride to the fullest and spread love and joy to others as best we can.
We don't have a choice of how old we will live to be. We can prolong our lives by taking care of our health, but that doesn't prevent accidents and other things from happening. (Not that I'm saying we should disregard our health- being healthy is the best way to enjoy life!) What we can control is what we do with our life, what we make of ourselves, how we treat others, and how happy we are.
Happiness isn't in the circumstances; it's in the heart. It's a conscious choice, and one that many ignore when they constantly want more or look at the negative side of life. I forget what it was I was watching, but there was a man who had been in a serious accident and lost his leg below the knee. He said "I can look at this one of two ways: I can be bitter because I almost died and lost my leg, or I can be grateful because I survived and only lost a leg."
There's a boldness is not adhering to what is expected of you and taking the easy route in life. So many people just fall into what they think they're supposed to do and float through life instead of taking risks and going for their dreams. Why? There is no do-overs, no second chances; you only get to live this life once. There's an audacity in saying "You know what? I don't want to have this steady job where I work 9 to 5 in an office and get a paycheck every week from something mundane and boring. I'm passionate about painting and sculpting- I'm going to do that, and I'm going to make a living doing it!"
When I realized I wanted to be a writer and an actress, it didn't take long to realize I had fallen in love with two of the hardest professions there are to be successful at. Millions and millions of people want to be writers; millions and millions of people want to be actors; few actually get to make one or the other their life's work, and here I am trying to do BOTH in the long run. Wanting two careers that are so difficult and with such slim odds of success is probably the scariest thing I've ever done (and I've been skydiving)! Maybe I'm a fool, but at least I get a sense of fulfillment every day. When my time comes, I want to look back and saw how awesome my life was, how much fun I had, and that I took every chance I got to share love with others.
We spend so much time worrying about things that we forget to do what makes us happy. Ken always seemed so happy, so positive, so excited about everything, and so willing to spread those feelings. People like him, who radiate genuine positivity, are hard to come by.
What do you love to do? Are you doing it, or pursuing routes to be able to do it? If not, why? If not now, then when?
Life is beautiful, and your time is a limited edition. Spend it wisely!
Two weeks ago, a friend of mine passed away. He was young (only 43) and had a lot of life still ahead of him.
I never met Ken in real life, but I had come to know him on Twitter over the last few years. He had a knack for making people laugh, getting people motivated, and just enjoying his space in the Twitterverse. Everyone who knew him on Twitter counted him as a friend; that's just how he was. We friended each other on FaceBook and emailed about acting from time to time. He was always there to offer some advice, encouragement, or make a quick joke to liven the mood. Even though I had never shook his hand, I would often forget that I had only ever met him electronically.
It's interesting how you can come to know people without meeting them face-to-face. I've got a few friends I've known via the Internet that I've never met face-to-face, and they're still dear friends to me.
What's strange is how out-of-nowhere this appears to be. Ken was very healthy; often he would Tweet about going to the gym, improving his workout, and staying active. So why is it we lost him at such at young age? There's no way to tell the reasons, or even if there really is one. Sometimes we just have to be okay with not knowing the answers.
It really makes you think of taking a hold of your destiny. Who knows why some people smoke, drink, are jerks and live to be 98 years old while others who take good care of themselves and are greatly compassionate live to only 21 years old. Where's the reason? Where's the fairness? That's one of the things that makes life exciting and beautiful- it's completely unpredictable, and we're here to enjoy the ride to the fullest and spread love and joy to others as best we can.
We don't have a choice of how old we will live to be. We can prolong our lives by taking care of our health, but that doesn't prevent accidents and other things from happening. (Not that I'm saying we should disregard our health- being healthy is the best way to enjoy life!) What we can control is what we do with our life, what we make of ourselves, how we treat others, and how happy we are.
Happiness isn't in the circumstances; it's in the heart. It's a conscious choice, and one that many ignore when they constantly want more or look at the negative side of life. I forget what it was I was watching, but there was a man who had been in a serious accident and lost his leg below the knee. He said "I can look at this one of two ways: I can be bitter because I almost died and lost my leg, or I can be grateful because I survived and only lost a leg."
There's a boldness is not adhering to what is expected of you and taking the easy route in life. So many people just fall into what they think they're supposed to do and float through life instead of taking risks and going for their dreams. Why? There is no do-overs, no second chances; you only get to live this life once. There's an audacity in saying "You know what? I don't want to have this steady job where I work 9 to 5 in an office and get a paycheck every week from something mundane and boring. I'm passionate about painting and sculpting- I'm going to do that, and I'm going to make a living doing it!"
When I realized I wanted to be a writer and an actress, it didn't take long to realize I had fallen in love with two of the hardest professions there are to be successful at. Millions and millions of people want to be writers; millions and millions of people want to be actors; few actually get to make one or the other their life's work, and here I am trying to do BOTH in the long run. Wanting two careers that are so difficult and with such slim odds of success is probably the scariest thing I've ever done (and I've been skydiving)! Maybe I'm a fool, but at least I get a sense of fulfillment every day. When my time comes, I want to look back and saw how awesome my life was, how much fun I had, and that I took every chance I got to share love with others.
We spend so much time worrying about things that we forget to do what makes us happy. Ken always seemed so happy, so positive, so excited about everything, and so willing to spread those feelings. People like him, who radiate genuine positivity, are hard to come by.
What do you love to do? Are you doing it, or pursuing routes to be able to do it? If not, why? If not now, then when?
Life is beautiful, and your time is a limited edition. Spend it wisely!
"It's not the years in your life that count; it's the life in your years."
-Abraham Lincoln
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
EPIPHANY!!
Sometimes when I'm driving and go on auto-pilot I get completely lost in my thoughts. That's one thing I love about driving- I'm not distracted by my phone, the Internet, or text messages- it's just me and the road, some good music, and my thoughts to keep me company.
While I was driving the other day, I had a totally epiphany about an aspect of myself and how I handle the relationships in my life. This epiphany, which had to do with how I conduct my relationships (friendships, spouse, family, etc), made me realize the reason why I feel so drained when it comes to relationships and why I'm not close with some people I would love to be closer with.
After realizing my flaw, I saw that I could really consciously do something about it to improve my relationships and make myself and the other people in said relationships a lot more fulfilled and happy. It was pretty satisfying to have this realization in itself, let alone be able to put it in play. I've already seen an improvement in some of my relationships, which is incredible.
No matter how long we live, I think we'll always discover new things about us. Sometimes it seems like the one person it is hardest for us to get to know is the one person we can never get away from: ourselves.
But I think it's not so much a matter of finding ourselves as it is a matter of defining ourselves. What do we think is right? What do we think is wrong? What are we willing to do? What are we not willing to do?
I love learning about myself and creating who I am. It's an incredible feeling to be so happy with the person I am and know that I still have so much more learning and growing to do. In my opinion, the people who think they know it all and have nothing more to gain from life are seriously missing out (unless, of course, they're old and have lived their lives, but still- my grandpa used to tell me that the first day you shouldn't learn something new should be the day after you die). Closed minds don't get the benefit and joy that open minds do. Closed minds seem to have trouble connecting to other people, to understanding things outside of their preexisting beliefs, and don't seem to gain as much joy from learning new things.
I also think that we can reduce so much stress, improve our relationships, and find a higher state of happiness when we give up the unquenchable desire to always be right. No one knows everything, and we can learn something from every single person. When we act like we know it all, we lose a lot of important parts of being human. First off, we lose a lot of credibility with others if they see that we spew a lot of B.S. because then they have no idea when we say something that's actually accurate. Second, we stop asking questions, and when we stop asking questions, our minds stop exploring. There's nothing wrong with not knowing everything. I mean, I think I know quite a bit about a lot of things, but what I know is barely even a frozen drop of water in the tip of the iceberg that is the knowledge of the universe.
Open minds also seem to be the most creative minds; probably because they're always searching and asking and trying to see things in a new way. Like Danny- he loves his job, and has probably one of the most amazing and insightful minds I know. He's been working on so many incredible projects, and I love hearing about them. Sometimes I feel a little jealous that he gets to work in such a creative environment at the studio, because he comes home every day and talks about what he did with such enthusiasm. He listens to everyone, and is never afraid to ask questions. I aim to be more like him; he's my inspiration to improve who I am.
While I was driving the other day, I had a totally epiphany about an aspect of myself and how I handle the relationships in my life. This epiphany, which had to do with how I conduct my relationships (friendships, spouse, family, etc), made me realize the reason why I feel so drained when it comes to relationships and why I'm not close with some people I would love to be closer with.
After realizing my flaw, I saw that I could really consciously do something about it to improve my relationships and make myself and the other people in said relationships a lot more fulfilled and happy. It was pretty satisfying to have this realization in itself, let alone be able to put it in play. I've already seen an improvement in some of my relationships, which is incredible.
No matter how long we live, I think we'll always discover new things about us. Sometimes it seems like the one person it is hardest for us to get to know is the one person we can never get away from: ourselves.
But I think it's not so much a matter of finding ourselves as it is a matter of defining ourselves. What do we think is right? What do we think is wrong? What are we willing to do? What are we not willing to do?
I love learning about myself and creating who I am. It's an incredible feeling to be so happy with the person I am and know that I still have so much more learning and growing to do. In my opinion, the people who think they know it all and have nothing more to gain from life are seriously missing out (unless, of course, they're old and have lived their lives, but still- my grandpa used to tell me that the first day you shouldn't learn something new should be the day after you die). Closed minds don't get the benefit and joy that open minds do. Closed minds seem to have trouble connecting to other people, to understanding things outside of their preexisting beliefs, and don't seem to gain as much joy from learning new things.
I also think that we can reduce so much stress, improve our relationships, and find a higher state of happiness when we give up the unquenchable desire to always be right. No one knows everything, and we can learn something from every single person. When we act like we know it all, we lose a lot of important parts of being human. First off, we lose a lot of credibility with others if they see that we spew a lot of B.S. because then they have no idea when we say something that's actually accurate. Second, we stop asking questions, and when we stop asking questions, our minds stop exploring. There's nothing wrong with not knowing everything. I mean, I think I know quite a bit about a lot of things, but what I know is barely even a frozen drop of water in the tip of the iceberg that is the knowledge of the universe.
Open minds also seem to be the most creative minds; probably because they're always searching and asking and trying to see things in a new way. Like Danny- he loves his job, and has probably one of the most amazing and insightful minds I know. He's been working on so many incredible projects, and I love hearing about them. Sometimes I feel a little jealous that he gets to work in such a creative environment at the studio, because he comes home every day and talks about what he did with such enthusiasm. He listens to everyone, and is never afraid to ask questions. I aim to be more like him; he's my inspiration to improve who I am.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Working for Yourself
The last few days, I've been thinking a lot about who I try to please. I find that, sadly, I tend to get so bent on impressing those who have put me down in one way or another that I don't always realize how many people support me. It's kind of sad.
But I'm done with that. It's so futile and pointless. For example, I wrote something a while back, got tons of positive feedback on it, but there was one person who thought it was terrible. That one person was the one opinion that rang loudest in my ears, even though I didn't have strong emotional ties to that person and they have minimal knowledge of the subject of the piece. So why did I put so much importance on one negative opinion instead of the dozens of positive opinions?
I think that most of us have this unattainable desire to please everyone. We all have a tendency to listen to the naysayers over the YAYsayers, even when the latter far outnumbers the former. I know I sometimes get distraught when I can't please everyone, but why?
Everyone is different, and there's no pleasing everyone. There is nothing that will universally please all people, period. The more people that see your work, the more fans you'll gain, but that also means you'll hear more negativity- it just comes with the territory. If you reach fifty people, you might get one that hates your work; if you reach five thousand people, you might get a hundred people who hate your work.
We shouldn't work to please the naysayers, we should do what we do to please ourselves and the yaysayers. Besides, if we try to please everyone, it'll eventually drive us crazy and burn us out.
Do what you love, and do it for yourself.
But I'm done with that. It's so futile and pointless. For example, I wrote something a while back, got tons of positive feedback on it, but there was one person who thought it was terrible. That one person was the one opinion that rang loudest in my ears, even though I didn't have strong emotional ties to that person and they have minimal knowledge of the subject of the piece. So why did I put so much importance on one negative opinion instead of the dozens of positive opinions?
I think that most of us have this unattainable desire to please everyone. We all have a tendency to listen to the naysayers over the YAYsayers, even when the latter far outnumbers the former. I know I sometimes get distraught when I can't please everyone, but why?
Everyone is different, and there's no pleasing everyone. There is nothing that will universally please all people, period. The more people that see your work, the more fans you'll gain, but that also means you'll hear more negativity- it just comes with the territory. If you reach fifty people, you might get one that hates your work; if you reach five thousand people, you might get a hundred people who hate your work.
We shouldn't work to please the naysayers, we should do what we do to please ourselves and the yaysayers. Besides, if we try to please everyone, it'll eventually drive us crazy and burn us out.
Do what you love, and do it for yourself.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Giving Up
It's hard to think about things that we should give up in order to live the fullest, mostly because we become so attached to those things.
Yesterday, I spent two hours crying my eyes out- I watched the series finale of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." In this episode, they built seven homes for seven families in seven days in Joplin, MO. For those of you who don't remember, Joplin was devastated by a tornado last May. In this episode, they featured seven families who had lost nearly all their possessions.
These families had next to nothing- they lost their houses, their furniture, their family pictures, and so many more items. But what they had was love- a strong familial bond together, an appreciation for the time they share with their loved ones, and a gratitude for life.
When we give up our attachment to worldly possessions, we open up more space in our hearts and minds for the things that matter the most, the things that could never be bought or sold- love, bonds, hope, and happiness. We gain a sense of freedom that we didn't have before, like removing an anchor that holds us down to any particular spot.
Giving up living in the past is another one of those things that can set us free. What we go through in life and all of our experiences, both good and bad, contribute to who we are and how we view and understand the world. We should never forget the past or the lessons we have learned as we go through life, but we should stop trying to live in the past. For a while, I wanted to go back to high school and essentially do it over. There is so much I would have wanted to do different, people I wish I hadn't lost connection with since graduation, and mistakes I wish I could have prevented. It took me a while to get to where I stopped wishing to go back to the past. I think one of the reasons we try to live in the past is because we believe it was the best part of our life, and the thought of nothing better ever coming again terrifies us. But life is what you make it, and it can keep getting better and better.
The current present will someday be the past. Time is constantly moving, and if we aren't living in the present moment, then when are we? The past you might be holding on to was once the present, and if you ignore the present it will someday be the past you may long for in the future. (Was that sentence confusing enough?)
We should also give up our sense of entitlement. Believing that the world "owes us" is a heavy burden to carry. The truth is that none of us are owed anything; the days we breathe are themselves a gift, and it's never promised that we will live to see tomorrow. I once lived in an apartment building with a couple who believed the world owed them for the pain they had lived through. They had suffered accidents that left them unable to work, and they would rarely leave their home. Often, they would have music or the television on through the night (they would sleep during the day) with the volume up so loud that they couldn't even hear their doorbell. Most of the time I tried to just ignore it, but once or twice a week I'd go and knock on their door to ask them to turn it down because it was 3am or so and I needed to get up for work at 6am. I'd wait for them to answer the door, but they usually couldn't hear the bell over the television. I called the manager, he tried calling them, but said he couldn't get through. I wrote them a note once, asking them to please keep the volume down during the night because others in the building were trying to sleep. They wrote me back, saying that I should "just get over it" and then listed all the ailments they felt. The manager said he wanted to evict them because they generated a lot of complaints from other tenants and were often late on the rent, but every time he tried they threatened to sue for discrimination and he felt he had no choice but to back off.
The point of the whole story is that the couple was absolutely miserable. When I'd pass them in the hall, I'd smile and say hello, often ignored or met with a snarky chuckle. If someone got on the elevator before them or didn't automatically hold the door (even if that person didn't know these people had an accident- which, other than the fact that they walked a little slower, you couldn't tell by looking at them) these two would get mad and make a comment about how rude that person was.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. This couple had come to believe that the world owed them since they had suffered through pain, but even though their situation is saddening, the world doesn't really owe them (or anyone else) anything. When we give up the sense of entitlement that many of us feel from time to time, we release an invisible burden we have placed on ourselves. Holding on to that sense of entitlement will usually lead to disappointment, because nothing is going to just be handed to us on a silver platter- we need to work for it, and appreciate what we do have. Think about people like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, or other highly influential and successful people- nearly all of them started out with very little and built up their empire. Even Walt Disney came from a poor farm family and moved to Los Angeles with nothing but a suitcase, $20, and determination to work his ass of until he achieved his goals. Nothing is impossible unless we decide it is.
I hope this post hasn't come off sounding heartless- I always tried to help the couple when I could; opening the doors, holding the elevator, and offering to carry in their groceries for them.
If you would like to help Joplin rebuild, check out their website:
Yesterday, I spent two hours crying my eyes out- I watched the series finale of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." In this episode, they built seven homes for seven families in seven days in Joplin, MO. For those of you who don't remember, Joplin was devastated by a tornado last May. In this episode, they featured seven families who had lost nearly all their possessions.
These families had next to nothing- they lost their houses, their furniture, their family pictures, and so many more items. But what they had was love- a strong familial bond together, an appreciation for the time they share with their loved ones, and a gratitude for life.
When we give up our attachment to worldly possessions, we open up more space in our hearts and minds for the things that matter the most, the things that could never be bought or sold- love, bonds, hope, and happiness. We gain a sense of freedom that we didn't have before, like removing an anchor that holds us down to any particular spot.
Giving up living in the past is another one of those things that can set us free. What we go through in life and all of our experiences, both good and bad, contribute to who we are and how we view and understand the world. We should never forget the past or the lessons we have learned as we go through life, but we should stop trying to live in the past. For a while, I wanted to go back to high school and essentially do it over. There is so much I would have wanted to do different, people I wish I hadn't lost connection with since graduation, and mistakes I wish I could have prevented. It took me a while to get to where I stopped wishing to go back to the past. I think one of the reasons we try to live in the past is because we believe it was the best part of our life, and the thought of nothing better ever coming again terrifies us. But life is what you make it, and it can keep getting better and better.
The current present will someday be the past. Time is constantly moving, and if we aren't living in the present moment, then when are we? The past you might be holding on to was once the present, and if you ignore the present it will someday be the past you may long for in the future. (Was that sentence confusing enough?)
We should also give up our sense of entitlement. Believing that the world "owes us" is a heavy burden to carry. The truth is that none of us are owed anything; the days we breathe are themselves a gift, and it's never promised that we will live to see tomorrow. I once lived in an apartment building with a couple who believed the world owed them for the pain they had lived through. They had suffered accidents that left them unable to work, and they would rarely leave their home. Often, they would have music or the television on through the night (they would sleep during the day) with the volume up so loud that they couldn't even hear their doorbell. Most of the time I tried to just ignore it, but once or twice a week I'd go and knock on their door to ask them to turn it down because it was 3am or so and I needed to get up for work at 6am. I'd wait for them to answer the door, but they usually couldn't hear the bell over the television. I called the manager, he tried calling them, but said he couldn't get through. I wrote them a note once, asking them to please keep the volume down during the night because others in the building were trying to sleep. They wrote me back, saying that I should "just get over it" and then listed all the ailments they felt. The manager said he wanted to evict them because they generated a lot of complaints from other tenants and were often late on the rent, but every time he tried they threatened to sue for discrimination and he felt he had no choice but to back off.
The point of the whole story is that the couple was absolutely miserable. When I'd pass them in the hall, I'd smile and say hello, often ignored or met with a snarky chuckle. If someone got on the elevator before them or didn't automatically hold the door (even if that person didn't know these people had an accident- which, other than the fact that they walked a little slower, you couldn't tell by looking at them) these two would get mad and make a comment about how rude that person was.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. This couple had come to believe that the world owed them since they had suffered through pain, but even though their situation is saddening, the world doesn't really owe them (or anyone else) anything. When we give up the sense of entitlement that many of us feel from time to time, we release an invisible burden we have placed on ourselves. Holding on to that sense of entitlement will usually lead to disappointment, because nothing is going to just be handed to us on a silver platter- we need to work for it, and appreciate what we do have. Think about people like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, or other highly influential and successful people- nearly all of them started out with very little and built up their empire. Even Walt Disney came from a poor farm family and moved to Los Angeles with nothing but a suitcase, $20, and determination to work his ass of until he achieved his goals. Nothing is impossible unless we decide it is.
I hope this post hasn't come off sounding heartless- I always tried to help the couple when I could; opening the doors, holding the elevator, and offering to carry in their groceries for them.
If you would like to help Joplin rebuild, check out their website:
Friday, March 23, 2012
It Gets Better (a.k.a. Thou Shall Not Bully)
After reading Amanda Hocking's most recent blog post, I got to thinking about bullying again. Even with all her success, she still gets people criticizing her and picking apart everything she does. Sometimes she gets terrible reviews of her books, with words that can sting an author and seem rather personal.
With success comes criticism. The more success (and widely-known) a person becomes, the more critics they will gain. Some people will say and do things that seem incredibly personal or harsh, but that doesn't mean they are personal. In fact, more often than not, it is not personal at all.
Bullies are petty and misguided. There are very few cases in which a bully picks on someone for the pure sake of being mean or making the other person feel down; most of the time, the reason a bully picks on someone is internal. They may not have confidence in themselves, they may be jealous, or they may just be afraid, and they express their internal insecurities by bringing down someone else.
A lot of times when a person is successful, others start to tell them they're doing it wrong or that they shouldn't be doing what they're doing. People will try to bring your dreams down, mostly because they're too scared or lack confidence to pursue their own. They will get angry at themselves because they're not living their dreams, and misery loves company- if they can't have it, they don't want you to have it either, so they do what they can to discourage and bring you down. Don't ever give up, though- go for your dreams. Let the harsh criticisms go out the window, and don't do what you want to do just to spite them, do it to make yourself happy!
By no means am I saying we should sympathize with bullies. Bullying is wrong, for any reason. If you or anyone you know is being bullied, get help: there's tons of bullying hotlines out there. If you are bullying someone, STOP!! Bullying may sometimes seem like harmless fun, but it can lead to serious damages and even suicide- would you want to be responsible for someone's death? NO!
I was bullied. Twice in life, actually. The first was in elementary school- I was bullied when I returned to school after months of cancer treatment. Kids would pick on me, call me mean names, and say terrible things to me because I had no hair. It changed me- I became very shy and insecure. It took me a long time to reverse the affects, and sometimes I'm not so sure I'm completely over it.
I was also bullied as an adult, by another adult. He would send me messages and tell me hurtful and harsh things because he didn't agree with my chosen professions. The words he said to me over the course of two years cut me deep, and I've learned that it's best to just keep my distance from him now. I think it's because he never had the opportunity to have his own dreams, he just always did what was expected of him, and here I am doing what I love and being successful at it. Still, it pains me whenever I think of some of those things he's said to me.
When I write my memoir, I'm going to include the detailed version of my experience being bullied. It's shaped me a lot, and I can't wait to share that part with others.
If you're being bullied, keep going. Send me an email, I'd love to talk to you. And it's been said before, but I'll say it again- it gets better, I promise.
With success comes criticism. The more success (and widely-known) a person becomes, the more critics they will gain. Some people will say and do things that seem incredibly personal or harsh, but that doesn't mean they are personal. In fact, more often than not, it is not personal at all.
Bullies are petty and misguided. There are very few cases in which a bully picks on someone for the pure sake of being mean or making the other person feel down; most of the time, the reason a bully picks on someone is internal. They may not have confidence in themselves, they may be jealous, or they may just be afraid, and they express their internal insecurities by bringing down someone else.
A lot of times when a person is successful, others start to tell them they're doing it wrong or that they shouldn't be doing what they're doing. People will try to bring your dreams down, mostly because they're too scared or lack confidence to pursue their own. They will get angry at themselves because they're not living their dreams, and misery loves company- if they can't have it, they don't want you to have it either, so they do what they can to discourage and bring you down. Don't ever give up, though- go for your dreams. Let the harsh criticisms go out the window, and don't do what you want to do just to spite them, do it to make yourself happy!
By no means am I saying we should sympathize with bullies. Bullying is wrong, for any reason. If you or anyone you know is being bullied, get help: there's tons of bullying hotlines out there. If you are bullying someone, STOP!! Bullying may sometimes seem like harmless fun, but it can lead to serious damages and even suicide- would you want to be responsible for someone's death? NO!
I was bullied. Twice in life, actually. The first was in elementary school- I was bullied when I returned to school after months of cancer treatment. Kids would pick on me, call me mean names, and say terrible things to me because I had no hair. It changed me- I became very shy and insecure. It took me a long time to reverse the affects, and sometimes I'm not so sure I'm completely over it.
I was also bullied as an adult, by another adult. He would send me messages and tell me hurtful and harsh things because he didn't agree with my chosen professions. The words he said to me over the course of two years cut me deep, and I've learned that it's best to just keep my distance from him now. I think it's because he never had the opportunity to have his own dreams, he just always did what was expected of him, and here I am doing what I love and being successful at it. Still, it pains me whenever I think of some of those things he's said to me.
When I write my memoir, I'm going to include the detailed version of my experience being bullied. It's shaped me a lot, and I can't wait to share that part with others.
If you're being bullied, keep going. Send me an email, I'd love to talk to you. And it's been said before, but I'll say it again- it gets better, I promise.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Creating Opportunities
The other night, I was watching recorded episodes of "American Idol" and "The Voice." When the contestants were being interviewed, I noticed that a lot of them kept saying that this was their "only opportunity to achieve [their] greatest dreams" and that if this didn't work out, they'd give up because then they'd know they weren't cut out for it.
That is complete bullshit.
When it comes down to it, WE decide how many opportunities we get to make our dreams come true. Especially in the entertainment industries (music, movies, books, etc- all such different worlds), nothing worth doing is done easily. If you are trying to achieve a career in any of those industries, you WILL be told no, probably often. You will be told you don't have what it takes, you will be rejected, and you will be passed up. But to give up on your dreams just because someone has told you that you're not "it" is ridiculous.
If one rejection makes you give up on your dreams, then they probably weren't really your dreams to begin with. Whether it's one no or 1,000 no's, keep going. Keep working, keep trying, keep finding and making opportunities to reach your goals. The ones who never make it are the ones who stop trying, or worse, never really tried in the first place. If you believe you only have one opportunity to make things happen, then you're not working hard enough.
In all of the entertainment industries, there is a countless number of people who want to "make it big." In Hollywood alone, there's more than a million actors. Of the 1,000,000 actors, only about 100,000 are working as actors. Of those 100,000, there's only about 50-100 that are really considered to be "stars." Even famous actors still need to get headshots, audition, network, and promote themselves in order to get work, but they keep getting work. What separates those people from the others, in any entertainment industry? Working hard and never giving up, creating your own opportunities, and believing in yourself are key to achieving your dreams, as well as practicing and developing your craft, talent, and skills to make them the absolute best they can be, and always aiming to be better.
There will be people, sometimes even close friends and family (unfortunately), who may say they don't think you can do it. They might not believe in you, but there's only one person that matters, and that's you. As long as YOU believe in yourself, it doesn't matter if anyone else does. And no one else will believe in you if you don't believe in yourself first.
Some of the contestants had been working for years to try out for either one of these shows. Some had been working in the industry before and wanted to achieve more, while others had been singing on the side and had never taken their talents outside the karaoke bar until now. Both types said that this was their only chance to make it; of course, there were also some that said if this opportunity didn't work out, they would move on to the next one. The latter is the type that will make it in their career, while the former will probably settle in to some job they happen to fall into and always wonder why it didn't work out in the talent industry. Which one will you be?
Spare the time to watch this video, it's only ten minutes. Save it to your favorites and come back and watch it whenever you need some motivation (that's what I do):
That is complete bullshit.
When it comes down to it, WE decide how many opportunities we get to make our dreams come true. Especially in the entertainment industries (music, movies, books, etc- all such different worlds), nothing worth doing is done easily. If you are trying to achieve a career in any of those industries, you WILL be told no, probably often. You will be told you don't have what it takes, you will be rejected, and you will be passed up. But to give up on your dreams just because someone has told you that you're not "it" is ridiculous.
If one rejection makes you give up on your dreams, then they probably weren't really your dreams to begin with. Whether it's one no or 1,000 no's, keep going. Keep working, keep trying, keep finding and making opportunities to reach your goals. The ones who never make it are the ones who stop trying, or worse, never really tried in the first place. If you believe you only have one opportunity to make things happen, then you're not working hard enough.
In all of the entertainment industries, there is a countless number of people who want to "make it big." In Hollywood alone, there's more than a million actors. Of the 1,000,000 actors, only about 100,000 are working as actors. Of those 100,000, there's only about 50-100 that are really considered to be "stars." Even famous actors still need to get headshots, audition, network, and promote themselves in order to get work, but they keep getting work. What separates those people from the others, in any entertainment industry? Working hard and never giving up, creating your own opportunities, and believing in yourself are key to achieving your dreams, as well as practicing and developing your craft, talent, and skills to make them the absolute best they can be, and always aiming to be better.
There will be people, sometimes even close friends and family (unfortunately), who may say they don't think you can do it. They might not believe in you, but there's only one person that matters, and that's you. As long as YOU believe in yourself, it doesn't matter if anyone else does. And no one else will believe in you if you don't believe in yourself first.
Some of the contestants had been working for years to try out for either one of these shows. Some had been working in the industry before and wanted to achieve more, while others had been singing on the side and had never taken their talents outside the karaoke bar until now. Both types said that this was their only chance to make it; of course, there were also some that said if this opportunity didn't work out, they would move on to the next one. The latter is the type that will make it in their career, while the former will probably settle in to some job they happen to fall into and always wonder why it didn't work out in the talent industry. Which one will you be?
Spare the time to watch this video, it's only ten minutes. Save it to your favorites and come back and watch it whenever you need some motivation (that's what I do):
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger, Pt. 2- Hardships and Spirituality
Something that has always fascinated me is spiritual beliefs. They can vary so much from person to person; even people belonging to the same religious* organization can have vastly dissimilar beliefs. (I've heard non-denominational Christians criticize Mormons; Mormons criticize Catholics; Catholics criticize non-denominational Christians; but really, they're all technically followers of Christ, so it's a bit baffling to me that they can be so hard on each other.)
It is impossible to know and prove what the truth really is when it comes to spiritual beliefs and whether or not there is an omnipotent being and a great beyond, and yet there is nothing more true to the individual than their own spiritual beliefs and religion.
In my opinion, people don't choose what they do and do not believe (for the most part, at least); I think it comes from a multitude of attributing factors in their life. Experience, what they've been taught by parents/others about spirituality/religion, personal logic and thought process, and observation all play key roles in determining a person's spiritual beliefs, and it's impossible to tell exactly what led a person to their beliefs.
One of the worst things a person can do when it comes to religion- whether they are monotheist, deist, polytheist, atheist, or any of the myriad of options in between- is to be a mindless follower. So many people (of any of the aforementioned theist and non-theist sets) don't know whether or not they actually believe what they do, but are just regurgitating what they've been told. I feel that questioning ones beliefs is not a negative thing- in fact, it should be encouraged, regardless of what the beliefs actually are. Finding a personal truth is a very important thing, whether your religion has a god, is science, doesn't have a god but has an afterlife, or any combination thereof (and no, believing in a higher power and believing in science are not mutually exclusive fields).
Another thing that has always intrigued me is how tragedies and hardships affect people's spirituality so differently. I've seen people who are devout atheist become true believers in a higher power when terrible events have afflicted their family; I've seen devoted Christians shun their life-long faith when faced with their own misfortunes and severe struggles. In many instances of tragedy and hardship, people seem to either embrace and strengthen their religious beliefs or completely reject what they have been devoted to for so long.
Many are quick to criticize the beliefs of others that conflict with their own. There are good, bad, immoral, and righteous people in all groups and walks of life. But while no side really deserves persecution from the other, no side is completely innocent, either. Many of the people who accuse others of being intolerant are themselves, often without realizing it, intolerant to a degree. Without realizing, most people are actually saying "We need to be tolerant of all lifestyles, except those which conflict with what I believe."
Separation of Church and State is very important. One of the most important foundations of our country was religious freedom, though many of the religious seem to believe that means that everyone has the freedom to be religious as long as the religion others adhere to coincides with their own. Freedom of religion means being able to practice any faith you choose, or to walk away completely from faith altogether. Freedom of religion does not mean that religious people have the right to shun the non-religious. We all have the right to believe in what we find to be the Truth.
I heard this quote earlier: "Telling someone else that what they do is wrong because it conflicts with your own religious beliefs is like getting mad at someone for eating a donut when you're on a diet." Separation of Church and State is very important; freedom of religion was the main foundation for our country. No one can try to force their own beliefs on others, and if they do, they shouldn't be surprised or get upset when others resist or push back.
But this isn't a post meant to bash religious or non-religious people. It's an observation, a pondering of what drives a person to believe one thing or another. My beliefs are something that I think about almost constantly, and over the years they have evolved and expanded as I go through life. I know they will continue to change as long as I live. What I believe now isn't what I believed ten years ago; my beliefs have even become more defined from just three days ago. We constantly change, if we are open-minded, and I think it's a good thing. If we didn't change, how could we grow?
What I also find a bit humorous is how so many people assume they know a person's beliefs just based on a few comments; sometimes those comments they base their judgement on have nothing to do with spiritual beliefs. I've been jumped on from both sides. People have criticized me for being a Christian and others (sometimes in the same conversation) have criticized me for being an atheist, while none of them bothered to actually ask me what my beliefs are. Religion is a personal thing, but I think that it shouldn't be a taboo subject. Learning about other people's beliefs can really help you reflect on your own, and may help to see whether those beliefs are your true beliefs or just a regurgitation you may think you're supposed to believe.
*throughout this post, the terms "religion" and "religious" are used to generally cover all belief systems and spiritualities- monotheist, polytheist, atheist, deist, pagan, and everything else that falls under spiritual beliefs that are not specifically mentioned.
It is impossible to know and prove what the truth really is when it comes to spiritual beliefs and whether or not there is an omnipotent being and a great beyond, and yet there is nothing more true to the individual than their own spiritual beliefs and religion.
In my opinion, people don't choose what they do and do not believe (for the most part, at least); I think it comes from a multitude of attributing factors in their life. Experience, what they've been taught by parents/others about spirituality/religion, personal logic and thought process, and observation all play key roles in determining a person's spiritual beliefs, and it's impossible to tell exactly what led a person to their beliefs.
One of the worst things a person can do when it comes to religion- whether they are monotheist, deist, polytheist, atheist, or any of the myriad of options in between- is to be a mindless follower. So many people (of any of the aforementioned theist and non-theist sets) don't know whether or not they actually believe what they do, but are just regurgitating what they've been told. I feel that questioning ones beliefs is not a negative thing- in fact, it should be encouraged, regardless of what the beliefs actually are. Finding a personal truth is a very important thing, whether your religion has a god, is science, doesn't have a god but has an afterlife, or any combination thereof (and no, believing in a higher power and believing in science are not mutually exclusive fields).
Another thing that has always intrigued me is how tragedies and hardships affect people's spirituality so differently. I've seen people who are devout atheist become true believers in a higher power when terrible events have afflicted their family; I've seen devoted Christians shun their life-long faith when faced with their own misfortunes and severe struggles. In many instances of tragedy and hardship, people seem to either embrace and strengthen their religious beliefs or completely reject what they have been devoted to for so long.
Many are quick to criticize the beliefs of others that conflict with their own. There are good, bad, immoral, and righteous people in all groups and walks of life. But while no side really deserves persecution from the other, no side is completely innocent, either. Many of the people who accuse others of being intolerant are themselves, often without realizing it, intolerant to a degree. Without realizing, most people are actually saying "We need to be tolerant of all lifestyles, except those which conflict with what I believe."
Separation of Church and State is very important. One of the most important foundations of our country was religious freedom, though many of the religious seem to believe that means that everyone has the freedom to be religious as long as the religion others adhere to coincides with their own. Freedom of religion means being able to practice any faith you choose, or to walk away completely from faith altogether. Freedom of religion does not mean that religious people have the right to shun the non-religious. We all have the right to believe in what we find to be the Truth.
I heard this quote earlier: "Telling someone else that what they do is wrong because it conflicts with your own religious beliefs is like getting mad at someone for eating a donut when you're on a diet." Separation of Church and State is very important; freedom of religion was the main foundation for our country. No one can try to force their own beliefs on others, and if they do, they shouldn't be surprised or get upset when others resist or push back.
But this isn't a post meant to bash religious or non-religious people. It's an observation, a pondering of what drives a person to believe one thing or another. My beliefs are something that I think about almost constantly, and over the years they have evolved and expanded as I go through life. I know they will continue to change as long as I live. What I believe now isn't what I believed ten years ago; my beliefs have even become more defined from just three days ago. We constantly change, if we are open-minded, and I think it's a good thing. If we didn't change, how could we grow?
What I also find a bit humorous is how so many people assume they know a person's beliefs just based on a few comments; sometimes those comments they base their judgement on have nothing to do with spiritual beliefs. I've been jumped on from both sides. People have criticized me for being a Christian and others (sometimes in the same conversation) have criticized me for being an atheist, while none of them bothered to actually ask me what my beliefs are. Religion is a personal thing, but I think that it shouldn't be a taboo subject. Learning about other people's beliefs can really help you reflect on your own, and may help to see whether those beliefs are your true beliefs or just a regurgitation you may think you're supposed to believe.
*throughout this post, the terms "religion" and "religious" are used to generally cover all belief systems and spiritualities- monotheist, polytheist, atheist, deist, pagan, and everything else that falls under spiritual beliefs that are not specifically mentioned.
Friday, February 17, 2012
The Great Beyond
I can't really remember a time when I wasn't aware of how fast time goes by. When I was in elementary school, I remember thinking "Wow, it's 1994 already. It seems like the years just sped by!" In 1994, I was 7 (turned 8 in September of 1994).
Life seems to go a little quicker each year, which sometimes feels overwhelming. I think part of the reason I've been aware of the hastiness of time is that I've dealt with my own mortality at a young age. It's never been a secret to me that my life has no guaranteed length; I wasn't even expected to see my 7th birthday when I was diagnosed with germination cell cancer back in 1993. But here I am, almost 19 years later, and doing fine. (Well, for the most part. Cancer, as I've learned, is a lifelong battle, even when the cancer itself is gone- it doesn't define or rule me, though.) There's always been the thought in the back of my mind that I'd go before I'm 30, which I hope I'm wrong about. There's no real rhyme or reason for the thought; just something I've felt.
I'm not really afraid of dying (I'd prefer not to for a while, though). It's something that is a part of life- there is no secret to immortality that has been discovered, and the fact remains that if you're alive, you will also die. But like I said, dying isn't scary- it's not really living that is scary.
We're put here on earth for only a short while. In the grand scheme of things, our lifespans are pretty short. But they're full of endless potential- what we are capable of stretched beyond the depth of the most vivid imaginations, and the beauty of humanity can really shine through if we let it.
I think that's one reason why books and movies that deal with immortality do so well: most people fear death and wish they could continue living forever. I think that's also why ghost stories and tales of the Great Beyond do so well, also. We fantasize about living eternally or at least having a solid answer as to what comes next.
The truth is, though, we won't know until we get there. We can speculate, imagine, and fantasize about what lies beyond, but the only way of truly knowing what it will be like is to actually die and cross over. I think that's why so many people have liked my books so far- The Secret Room and Shadows in the Window have both sold better than I would've imagined. They both deal with the unknown and the human fear and inquisition of wanting to know what lies beyond death.
I personally believe in a life after death, though I can only speculate on the details of it. I love ghost stories and tales of the Great Beyond, but most of the time I don't really think about death. I try to focus on life, love, and enjoying the moments we get here on earth and the people we share them with.
And I leave you with this, a little visit to the Dark Side of the Moon:
Life seems to go a little quicker each year, which sometimes feels overwhelming. I think part of the reason I've been aware of the hastiness of time is that I've dealt with my own mortality at a young age. It's never been a secret to me that my life has no guaranteed length; I wasn't even expected to see my 7th birthday when I was diagnosed with germination cell cancer back in 1993. But here I am, almost 19 years later, and doing fine. (Well, for the most part. Cancer, as I've learned, is a lifelong battle, even when the cancer itself is gone- it doesn't define or rule me, though.) There's always been the thought in the back of my mind that I'd go before I'm 30, which I hope I'm wrong about. There's no real rhyme or reason for the thought; just something I've felt.
I'm not really afraid of dying (I'd prefer not to for a while, though). It's something that is a part of life- there is no secret to immortality that has been discovered, and the fact remains that if you're alive, you will also die. But like I said, dying isn't scary- it's not really living that is scary.
We're put here on earth for only a short while. In the grand scheme of things, our lifespans are pretty short. But they're full of endless potential- what we are capable of stretched beyond the depth of the most vivid imaginations, and the beauty of humanity can really shine through if we let it.
I think that's one reason why books and movies that deal with immortality do so well: most people fear death and wish they could continue living forever. I think that's also why ghost stories and tales of the Great Beyond do so well, also. We fantasize about living eternally or at least having a solid answer as to what comes next.
The truth is, though, we won't know until we get there. We can speculate, imagine, and fantasize about what lies beyond, but the only way of truly knowing what it will be like is to actually die and cross over. I think that's why so many people have liked my books so far- The Secret Room and Shadows in the Window have both sold better than I would've imagined. They both deal with the unknown and the human fear and inquisition of wanting to know what lies beyond death.
I personally believe in a life after death, though I can only speculate on the details of it. I love ghost stories and tales of the Great Beyond, but most of the time I don't really think about death. I try to focus on life, love, and enjoying the moments we get here on earth and the people we share them with.
And I leave you with this, a little visit to the Dark Side of the Moon:
Monday, February 13, 2012
Power to the People
Sometimes I'm not sure which is worse- a person who has the ability but chooses not to vote, or a person who votes without knowing what they're voting for. Both are a negative thing- one has the power, but throws it away, while the other one makes an uneducated vote based on who knows what factors.
You won't often see me posting about politics on this blog, but I felt this was weighing on my heart and needed to be said.
Many people complain about the government and the state of the nation. It's true that things are not so great, and there is definitely changes that can be made to make our nation the grand place our forefathers dreamed of. America used to be one of the greatest nations in the world- maybe even THE greatest- but not so much anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I stand fully behind my country- just not behind my government.
Some people say that the power does not belong to the people, that we need to seize control from the powers that be in order to make our country great once again. But there's someone that most people don't realize- We actually DO have the power, now more than ever.
Voting is an amazing thing, and not something that should be taken lightly. There's few people who are neutral on Obama and his policies- some thing he's terrible, comparing him to Hitler (which, I'm sorry, whether you're for or against him, this is a bit extreme- until he declares a master race and starts the extermination of certain peoples, this is an extreme comparison), while others think he's the best thing to happen to our nation since winning the Revolutionary War. What most people don't take into account is that he does not have as much power as many think he does- Congress is a huge factor.
This post is a call to action, of sorts. I'm not going to tell you who to vote for or whether or not I think Obama should be re-elected. Instead, I'm going to strongly urge you to educate yourself before you vote this November. You've got about nine months before going to the polls, which is plenty of time to learn about the presidential candidates (even if you only spend a few minutes a week learning about their views/policies). Take time to learn about the representatives and their beliefs, both the incumbents and the new candidates. It is just as, if not more, important as who you decide to vote for to take the presidency.
This year, I'm not voting for anyone from either of the two power-parties. In my opinion, neither of them have done what would be best for the American people. Instead, I'm voting for a third-party candidate who shares a lot of my views- he especially believes that government has been overstepping their boundaries and controlling too much of the America peoples' freedoms. I think he has a good head on his shoulders, and although most people have not heard of him yet, I'm giving my vote to him.
Some say that not voting for one of the two major parties is the same as throwing away a vote. In my opinion, voting for someone you don't fully believe in is throwing away the nation's wellbeing just to hope your vote counts. This year, vote for who you REALLY want to see elected, not who you think will get elected. Don't give your vote to someone just to take away a vote against someone you dislike; vote for the person who DESERVES your vote. If all the American voters actually voted for who they believed was the right person for the job, then for once the right person might actually GET the job.
One last thing- don't get all your information from one source. Don't just watch FOX and CNN- they don't report on all of the candidates, and they are very influenced to one side. Check out as many sources as you can find- use your logic and understanding to sort through what is true and what is not true. Look at the candidate's pages (especially third-party candidates, who get next to no airtime on television) and see what their views are on the issues that are important to YOU. Don't give your vote to someone who does not absolutely deserve it!
Here's a couple of sources to get you started, but I urge you to find more (and please share any helpful links you find here):
* 2012 Presidential Candidates (a great source to start at- lists all the candidates and their beliefs on issues; well-organized and easy to use website)
* Americans Elect 2012 (helpful source about the election; also has some information on the candidates and the process of the election)
Vote wisely- the fate of the nation is in your hands.
You won't often see me posting about politics on this blog, but I felt this was weighing on my heart and needed to be said.
Many people complain about the government and the state of the nation. It's true that things are not so great, and there is definitely changes that can be made to make our nation the grand place our forefathers dreamed of. America used to be one of the greatest nations in the world- maybe even THE greatest- but not so much anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I stand fully behind my country- just not behind my government.
Some people say that the power does not belong to the people, that we need to seize control from the powers that be in order to make our country great once again. But there's someone that most people don't realize- We actually DO have the power, now more than ever.
Voting is an amazing thing, and not something that should be taken lightly. There's few people who are neutral on Obama and his policies- some thing he's terrible, comparing him to Hitler (which, I'm sorry, whether you're for or against him, this is a bit extreme- until he declares a master race and starts the extermination of certain peoples, this is an extreme comparison), while others think he's the best thing to happen to our nation since winning the Revolutionary War. What most people don't take into account is that he does not have as much power as many think he does- Congress is a huge factor.
This post is a call to action, of sorts. I'm not going to tell you who to vote for or whether or not I think Obama should be re-elected. Instead, I'm going to strongly urge you to educate yourself before you vote this November. You've got about nine months before going to the polls, which is plenty of time to learn about the presidential candidates (even if you only spend a few minutes a week learning about their views/policies). Take time to learn about the representatives and their beliefs, both the incumbents and the new candidates. It is just as, if not more, important as who you decide to vote for to take the presidency.
This year, I'm not voting for anyone from either of the two power-parties. In my opinion, neither of them have done what would be best for the American people. Instead, I'm voting for a third-party candidate who shares a lot of my views- he especially believes that government has been overstepping their boundaries and controlling too much of the America peoples' freedoms. I think he has a good head on his shoulders, and although most people have not heard of him yet, I'm giving my vote to him.
Some say that not voting for one of the two major parties is the same as throwing away a vote. In my opinion, voting for someone you don't fully believe in is throwing away the nation's wellbeing just to hope your vote counts. This year, vote for who you REALLY want to see elected, not who you think will get elected. Don't give your vote to someone just to take away a vote against someone you dislike; vote for the person who DESERVES your vote. If all the American voters actually voted for who they believed was the right person for the job, then for once the right person might actually GET the job.
One last thing- don't get all your information from one source. Don't just watch FOX and CNN- they don't report on all of the candidates, and they are very influenced to one side. Check out as many sources as you can find- use your logic and understanding to sort through what is true and what is not true. Look at the candidate's pages (especially third-party candidates, who get next to no airtime on television) and see what their views are on the issues that are important to YOU. Don't give your vote to someone who does not absolutely deserve it!
Here's a couple of sources to get you started, but I urge you to find more (and please share any helpful links you find here):
* 2012 Presidential Candidates (a great source to start at- lists all the candidates and their beliefs on issues; well-organized and easy to use website)
* Americans Elect 2012 (helpful source about the election; also has some information on the candidates and the process of the election)
Vote wisely- the fate of the nation is in your hands.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Go Get a Job!!
Two nights ago, my family went out to dinner. Our waitress was such a character- so funny and on the ball. When she was gathering up dishes, one of us asked "What do you need?" (trying to help hand her what she wanted to take) Jokingly, she replied "Oh, a working car... a job I like... That's all."
While she was joking, there was some truth to it. (At least, I'm pretty sure there was- it seemed like it.) It got me thinking- why do people work jobs they don't like? What job out there do you want to have, but feel you can't get (for whatever reason)?
I tried working the "regular" jobs. I worked at a movie theater, a kid's toy/clothing store, a video rental place, a restaurant, a bank, a bookstore, and a call center for a cruise line. The jobs were all interesting, and all had their good points and fun parts. But I'm really bad at being treated like a replaceable number. (The video store wasn't like that- it was locally owned by two wonderful people, and for the majority of my time there, I was the only employee- it was probably my favorite job. I left when the owners sold the place and the new owners hired only family.) I place life, education, and family above job (because jobs are replaceable, but family and life are not, and education is one of the most valuable things our species has), so when I had to choose, I never chose the job.
I was never fired from a job, but a few times I did not leave under my own will (the kid's store I was only hired seasonal, the bank manager at the time told me that if I didn't quit then she'd fire two other people, which I found out later was false). I don't regret having so many jobs (over about a 6-year period) because I learned a lot at each job, met interesting people, and came to understand a little more about human nature.
When you find the right job for you, it won't feel like a job most of the time. You'll love what you do, and you'll do it well. I'm a writer, and I love it. I'm also an actress, and I love that, too. Writing and acting make me happy, and they satisfy me more than any large paycheck or ample benefits ever could. I'm not making much money right now (read: I'm barely scraping enough to fill my gas tank) but I can feel that it'll grow. Not meaning to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty good at writing, and I feel very strongly that if you chase your passions, then the money will chase you. Eventually, the income will start to snowball and I'll be able to live comfortably off my writing. (read: with a lot of hard work, determination, and patience.)
But let's talk about you now. Do you like your job? Is it what you dreamed of doing when you were a kid? If it isn't, then maybe it's time for a change. Ask yourself what's stopping you from going for what you really want. Whether you dream of being a great world leader or a garbage man, do it! Do what makes you happy. And those "reasons" why you can't? They're just excuses. Here, let me show you some:
*"I'm too old to do what I want to do. It's too late." FALSE! It's never too late. My grandpa, for example, didn't find what he loved to do until he was 56. When he talks about that job, he always says how happy he was and how much he enjoyed it. There was an article recently about a woman who always dreamed of getting a degree, but life kept getting in the way. She finally got her degree- at age 96!! And she was so happy. I have a character in an unpublished book that says "You're only too old to dream when you're dead." So go out, get it.
*"I'm not smart enough to do what I love." FALSE! Yes, you are. If you don't have the knowledge or skills now, you can get them. Read about it, practice, consume everything you can about it until it fills your being and you can recite every detail of it in your sleep. If it's what you love, you'll love learning about it. Take classes, do an internship, whatever it takes. Which brings us to our next point...
*"I can't afford to take classes or learn skills. It's too expensive." FALSE! There are a ton of opportunities for inexpensive learning out there. There's also a ton of opportunities for scholarships and grants (millions of dollars go unclaimed every year- seriously, apply for some scholarships and grants). Some are specific, others are wide open, but there's a scholarship or grant out there for everyone. No matter who you are, you qualify for dozens of scholarships. (For example, I qualify for a minority scholarship that's available because I'm left-handed. No joke.)
*"I don't have the time to do what I love." FALSE! We make time for what we want to do. I make time for writing, family, and classes. Take a look at your time- do you watch television every day? That time can be used to study, learn, go to classes, and anything else you want to do. Unless you're working a job that requires you to be there and working for 24-hours a day, 7-days a week, you can find the time to work towards the job you really want.
*"Everyone tells me I can't do what it is I want to do." FALSE! FALSE! FALSE!!! Who cares if other people believe you can do it or not; what matters is if YOU believe you can do it or not. If people tell you that you aren't able to do something, then don't ask them. You know what you are capable of; most people are actually capable of a lot more than they give themselves credit for, and you're probably one of them! Anything is possible, and if you bring to mind any of the most successful people in history, none of them started out in the success they found. For example, Walt Disney came from a farm family in the middle of Missouri. He didn't finish school (though education, partiticularly self-education, was extremely important to him). When he came out to California, he had only a few dollars he borrowed from an uncle and a small suitcase of clothes. He was turned down at every studio he applied to work at. But with hard work and dedication, he built an entertainment empire. People told him not to make Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs because "who would want to sit through 80 minutes of animation?" People told him not to build Disneyland because "who would want to go to a place like that?" But he ignored the naysayers, and did what he believed in and what he loved, and you can too. The most successful and amazing people come from humble beginnings, and all of them had people who advised them not to do what it is they had in mind. History and innovation is made by people who ignore the naysayers and do what they believe in.
So... think about the ulimate dream job you want to have. What's stopping you? The only true answer is you are.
While she was joking, there was some truth to it. (At least, I'm pretty sure there was- it seemed like it.) It got me thinking- why do people work jobs they don't like? What job out there do you want to have, but feel you can't get (for whatever reason)?
I tried working the "regular" jobs. I worked at a movie theater, a kid's toy/clothing store, a video rental place, a restaurant, a bank, a bookstore, and a call center for a cruise line. The jobs were all interesting, and all had their good points and fun parts. But I'm really bad at being treated like a replaceable number. (The video store wasn't like that- it was locally owned by two wonderful people, and for the majority of my time there, I was the only employee- it was probably my favorite job. I left when the owners sold the place and the new owners hired only family.) I place life, education, and family above job (because jobs are replaceable, but family and life are not, and education is one of the most valuable things our species has), so when I had to choose, I never chose the job.
I was never fired from a job, but a few times I did not leave under my own will (the kid's store I was only hired seasonal, the bank manager at the time told me that if I didn't quit then she'd fire two other people, which I found out later was false). I don't regret having so many jobs (over about a 6-year period) because I learned a lot at each job, met interesting people, and came to understand a little more about human nature.
When you find the right job for you, it won't feel like a job most of the time. You'll love what you do, and you'll do it well. I'm a writer, and I love it. I'm also an actress, and I love that, too. Writing and acting make me happy, and they satisfy me more than any large paycheck or ample benefits ever could. I'm not making much money right now (read: I'm barely scraping enough to fill my gas tank) but I can feel that it'll grow. Not meaning to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty good at writing, and I feel very strongly that if you chase your passions, then the money will chase you. Eventually, the income will start to snowball and I'll be able to live comfortably off my writing. (read: with a lot of hard work, determination, and patience.)
But let's talk about you now. Do you like your job? Is it what you dreamed of doing when you were a kid? If it isn't, then maybe it's time for a change. Ask yourself what's stopping you from going for what you really want. Whether you dream of being a great world leader or a garbage man, do it! Do what makes you happy. And those "reasons" why you can't? They're just excuses. Here, let me show you some:
*"I'm too old to do what I want to do. It's too late." FALSE! It's never too late. My grandpa, for example, didn't find what he loved to do until he was 56. When he talks about that job, he always says how happy he was and how much he enjoyed it. There was an article recently about a woman who always dreamed of getting a degree, but life kept getting in the way. She finally got her degree- at age 96!! And she was so happy. I have a character in an unpublished book that says "You're only too old to dream when you're dead." So go out, get it.
*"I'm not smart enough to do what I love." FALSE! Yes, you are. If you don't have the knowledge or skills now, you can get them. Read about it, practice, consume everything you can about it until it fills your being and you can recite every detail of it in your sleep. If it's what you love, you'll love learning about it. Take classes, do an internship, whatever it takes. Which brings us to our next point...
*"I can't afford to take classes or learn skills. It's too expensive." FALSE! There are a ton of opportunities for inexpensive learning out there. There's also a ton of opportunities for scholarships and grants (millions of dollars go unclaimed every year- seriously, apply for some scholarships and grants). Some are specific, others are wide open, but there's a scholarship or grant out there for everyone. No matter who you are, you qualify for dozens of scholarships. (For example, I qualify for a minority scholarship that's available because I'm left-handed. No joke.)
*"I don't have the time to do what I love." FALSE! We make time for what we want to do. I make time for writing, family, and classes. Take a look at your time- do you watch television every day? That time can be used to study, learn, go to classes, and anything else you want to do. Unless you're working a job that requires you to be there and working for 24-hours a day, 7-days a week, you can find the time to work towards the job you really want.
*"Everyone tells me I can't do what it is I want to do." FALSE! FALSE! FALSE!!! Who cares if other people believe you can do it or not; what matters is if YOU believe you can do it or not. If people tell you that you aren't able to do something, then don't ask them. You know what you are capable of; most people are actually capable of a lot more than they give themselves credit for, and you're probably one of them! Anything is possible, and if you bring to mind any of the most successful people in history, none of them started out in the success they found. For example, Walt Disney came from a farm family in the middle of Missouri. He didn't finish school (though education, partiticularly self-education, was extremely important to him). When he came out to California, he had only a few dollars he borrowed from an uncle and a small suitcase of clothes. He was turned down at every studio he applied to work at. But with hard work and dedication, he built an entertainment empire. People told him not to make Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs because "who would want to sit through 80 minutes of animation?" People told him not to build Disneyland because "who would want to go to a place like that?" But he ignored the naysayers, and did what he believed in and what he loved, and you can too. The most successful and amazing people come from humble beginnings, and all of them had people who advised them not to do what it is they had in mind. History and innovation is made by people who ignore the naysayers and do what they believe in.
So... think about the ulimate dream job you want to have. What's stopping you? The only true answer is you are.
The only limits we have are the ones we give ourselves.
Friday, January 27, 2012
If you want to be a writer, you have to know how to write.
My writing is not perfect, I'm well aware of this, but I do practice and refine my writing skills and vocabulary every day (yes, everyday, with very few exceptions). I write, I read, I learn, I practice. I strive to improve my skills and myself.
It peeves me when someone asks what I do, I tell them I'm a writer, then they reply with "Oh, I'm a writer, too!" when I know that they:
1) have never actually written anything outside a classroom assignment.
2) have never written a single FaceBook status without serious misuse and abuse of the English language. (Grammar, punctuation, and spelling are your friends, people!)
3) haven't read anything other than the occassional Cosmo magazine article in the last five years.
...or any combination of those three. Being a writer (or actor, musician, singer, dancer, poet, painter, or any other type of artist, for that matter) is not just something you can suddenly just say you are and then you are one. (I dance, but I'm certainly not a dancer.) It takes discipline, skill, practice, passion, dedication, and a drive to constantly learn and understand more about your field. You need to develop your craft, expand your skills, and bring out a piece of your soul to be an artist, and (above all) you need to enjoy what you do. Knowing how to start and extinguish a campfire does not make a person a firefighter; memorizing lines does not make a person an actor; knowing how to change a light bulb does not make a person an electrician; just knowing the basics of writing does not make a person a writer.
Number 3 is included for a good reason: I have yet to come across a decent writer who is not also an avid reader. Writers are readers. Most readers are writers (whether for pleasure, business, career, or other, I've noticed that those who read the most also write, even if it's not every day). Reading improves writing; I know it has definitely improved mine, and continues to do so. When I read a book, I always keep a dictionary nearby (usually the dictionary app on my phone; it's Oxford) to find any words I do not know so I can add them to my vocabulary. I take note of how the author has formed the sentences, why they may have chosen to piece it together the way they did. Seeing what works in other stories (and, just as importantly, what does NOT work) helps me to know what may or may not work in my own stories.
Here's a quick list of some tips to remember:
*What's the day after today? It's tomorrow. Notice there is no "a" in the word, and there is a "w" at the end.
*"Till" and 'til are not shortened forms of until. A till is (as defined by Oxford) "a drawer, box, or the like, as in a shop or bank, used for keeping money or valuables." It can also mean "to cultivate the soil."
*You're = you are; your = belonging to you
*Not everything ending with an "s" requires an apostrophe. As a general rule (although the English language does like to break rules occasionally) if something is plural, is does not get an apostrophe unless it is an abbreviation or a symbol. For example, plural 3 = 3's; plural sister = sisters; if it were sister's, it would belong to your sister.
*Then = happened sequentially or at that time, as in: "I opened the door, then walked inside" or "gas prices were so much lower back then." Than = comparative, as in "Harry Potter is better than Lord of the Rings."
*Lose = to come to be without, as in "you're going to lose your marbles" or "I want to lose some weight." Loose = opposite of tight, as in "I think this writer has a few loose screws."
*Close = opposite of open, as in "close the door, you're letting in the cold air." Clothes = the items you wear, as in "I went clothes shopping and got this great poncho!"
But, to go in a completely different direction, being a writer is not just about knowing proper rules of grammar and spelling. (Oh, there's another one- grammar does not have an "e." Grammer is a misspelling; Mispelling with only one "s" is also a misspelling.) The most important part of being a writer (or any of the aforementioned trades) is passion and dedication. Loving what you do and putting your heart and soul into it is key. Don't measure success by the money you make; measure your success by how fulfilled you feel; how happy you are. Tell a good story, make lovable and loathsome characters come to life, and make us want to not put your work down, even when it's over.
Art is a reflection of life. We are artists because we long for a deeper understanding of the world around us and the people in it. We want to move others, make them think, and spread ideas that will lead to a better and more profound way of life. If you have a dream, go for it! But stop calling it a dream, and start calling it a goal, then work your ass off until you have reached that goal; and once you've reached that goal, set another. Aim high, think big, and don't settle. Believe in the impossible, because "impossible" does not exist unless you make it exist.
So here's a little test for those of you who are paying attention: I've intentionally made a few mistakes (a misspelling, an improperly used word, for example) in this post. Can you find them?
EDIT: I want to thank Peter Donnelly for pointing out a mistake: TILL is correct as a substitution for "until." Using 'til is incorrect, though. Check out Peter's blog, or this page on World Wide Words for some interesting info on the use of till and its origins. (Apparently, the word "till" is actually older than "until.")
It peeves me when someone asks what I do, I tell them I'm a writer, then they reply with "Oh, I'm a writer, too!" when I know that they:
1) have never actually written anything outside a classroom assignment.
2) have never written a single FaceBook status without serious misuse and abuse of the English language. (Grammar, punctuation, and spelling are your friends, people!)
3) haven't read anything other than the occassional Cosmo magazine article in the last five years.
...or any combination of those three. Being a writer (or actor, musician, singer, dancer, poet, painter, or any other type of artist, for that matter) is not just something you can suddenly just say you are and then you are one. (I dance, but I'm certainly not a dancer.) It takes discipline, skill, practice, passion, dedication, and a drive to constantly learn and understand more about your field. You need to develop your craft, expand your skills, and bring out a piece of your soul to be an artist, and (above all) you need to enjoy what you do. Knowing how to start and extinguish a campfire does not make a person a firefighter; memorizing lines does not make a person an actor; knowing how to change a light bulb does not make a person an electrician; just knowing the basics of writing does not make a person a writer.
Number 3 is included for a good reason: I have yet to come across a decent writer who is not also an avid reader. Writers are readers. Most readers are writers (whether for pleasure, business, career, or other, I've noticed that those who read the most also write, even if it's not every day). Reading improves writing; I know it has definitely improved mine, and continues to do so. When I read a book, I always keep a dictionary nearby (usually the dictionary app on my phone; it's Oxford) to find any words I do not know so I can add them to my vocabulary. I take note of how the author has formed the sentences, why they may have chosen to piece it together the way they did. Seeing what works in other stories (and, just as importantly, what does NOT work) helps me to know what may or may not work in my own stories.
Here's a quick list of some tips to remember:
*What's the day after today? It's tomorrow. Notice there is no "a" in the word, and there is a "w" at the end.
*"Till" and 'til are not shortened forms of until. A till is (as defined by Oxford) "a drawer, box, or the like, as in a shop or bank, used for keeping money or valuables." It can also mean "to cultivate the soil."
*You're = you are; your = belonging to you
*Not everything ending with an "s" requires an apostrophe. As a general rule (although the English language does like to break rules occasionally) if something is plural, is does not get an apostrophe unless it is an abbreviation or a symbol. For example, plural 3 = 3's; plural sister = sisters; if it were sister's, it would belong to your sister.
*Then = happened sequentially or at that time, as in: "I opened the door, then walked inside" or "gas prices were so much lower back then." Than = comparative, as in "Harry Potter is better than Lord of the Rings."
*Lose = to come to be without, as in "you're going to lose your marbles" or "I want to lose some weight." Loose = opposite of tight, as in "I think this writer has a few loose screws."
*Close = opposite of open, as in "close the door, you're letting in the cold air." Clothes = the items you wear, as in "I went clothes shopping and got this great poncho!"
But, to go in a completely different direction, being a writer is not just about knowing proper rules of grammar and spelling. (Oh, there's another one- grammar does not have an "e." Grammer is a misspelling; Mispelling with only one "s" is also a misspelling.) The most important part of being a writer (or any of the aforementioned trades) is passion and dedication. Loving what you do and putting your heart and soul into it is key. Don't measure success by the money you make; measure your success by how fulfilled you feel; how happy you are. Tell a good story, make lovable and loathsome characters come to life, and make us want to not put your work down, even when it's over.
Art is a reflection of life. We are artists because we long for a deeper understanding of the world around us and the people in it. We want to move others, make them think, and spread ideas that will lead to a better and more profound way of life. If you have a dream, go for it! But stop calling it a dream, and start calling it a goal, then work your ass off until you have reached that goal; and once you've reached that goal, set another. Aim high, think big, and don't settle. Believe in the impossible, because "impossible" does not exist unless you make it exist.
"If you can dream it, you can do it." -Walt Disney
So here's a little test for those of you who are paying attention: I've intentionally made a few mistakes (a misspelling, an improperly used word, for example) in this post. Can you find them?
EDIT: I want to thank Peter Donnelly for pointing out a mistake: TILL is correct as a substitution for "until." Using 'til is incorrect, though. Check out Peter's blog, or this page on World Wide Words for some interesting info on the use of till and its origins. (Apparently, the word "till" is actually older than "until.")
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